Dec 102010

Do you ever feel like this picture looks? Just a little too “out there”?

Yup, me too.

And I’ll show you a quick way to turn that around.

But first let’s take a look at a primary cause.

(Hint: And it’s not because you have too much to do.)

Who’s Calling the Shots?

In these fascinating days of interconnection, with web surfing, wiki everything, and gadgets galore, rarely a day goes by that we aren’t influenced by other people.

Yet most of our connections have a tiny hidden cost.

Around the holidays especially, with all kinds of parties and family gatherings, there are usually a lot of quiet demands on us. There are tenacious old patterns, unspoken expectations, and assumed obligations, all sneaking a little piece of our attention.

Or maybe like me, you’re learning some new skills and have a lot of “teachers” in your life. We absorb what they tell us like sponges. We watch who does it right and who does it wrong. We listen to what to do and then how to do it better.

Whatever the situation, we’re often so constantly connected that we don’t notice that little pieces of our attention are “out there”, scattered all over the place. And this is true even when the influences are good ones.

Before you know it, the voices of everyone else create a cacophony and added together are much louder than your own. To make matters worse, they don’t all say the same thing, in fact they often say the exact opposite.

They pull you every which way.

If you check in with yourself, you notice you’re scattered, spacey, off balance, and drained. You’re easily distracted. Maybe even little health issues are popping up or you find yourself mindlessly eating all that “bad” stuff. Again.


An Effective Practice

Believe it or not, there’s a quick and easy way to reclaim yourself. It’s something I discovered quite a few years back.

I’ve done this many times and every single time I’m amazed at what a huge difference it makes.

You’ll suddenly be calm and balanced. Collected, centered, and grounded. Best of all you’ll feel congruent and integrated again.

And it’s so simple.

You are going to pull yourself together. Literally.

“This is really America in therapy, people trying to get themselves together and be whole.”
David S. Viscott

A quick study of the words whole, holy, holistic, and health shows that they are all related. No surprise, is it? And holy is “that which must be preserved whole or intact, that cannot be transgressed or violated”.

Sounds pretty good to be whole, doesn’t it?

How to do it

It’s so easy.

1) First of all, decide you want to be all in one place again. Whole. (Speaking of words, did you know “decide” comes from the Latin decidere, to cut off? This is what you are doing when you decide, cutting away from the other options, the distractions.)

Deciding alone is a powerful step.

Do it right now. Can you feel the difference?

2) Next, be aware that all your connections are like tendrils going out from your body and connecting with everyone who’s influencing you.

Take a look at them in your mind’s eye, and who they are connected to. Who is influencing you? Who are the first few people who come to mind? Who are you trying to please? Or learn from? Or who are you trying to influence? Who are you keeping tabs on?

A few will be obvious, and you don’t need to worry about the ones that aren’t.

Spend a minute or so doing this.

3) And finally, just disconnect your tendrils and pull them all back in to yourself.

You can do them one by one, in groups, or all at once — whichever seems most effective for you.

See them all receding back in, so that you are a smooth, egg-shaped energy system.

Then put your focus on you … and take a few moments to notice how soothing and solid that feels.

And you’re done!

Don’t be fooled by how simple and obvious this sounds. It’s really powerful.

When I do this, I immediately feel a shift in my energy. Then for days — and I’m not kidding — I have so much energy I barely know what to do with it all.

I feel clear and uncluttered. I have laser-beam focus without even trying.

You’ll find that you not only feel much better, but you are much more effective at what is important to you. Even when you’ve got lots to do, you’re able to focus calmly on your priorities.

And best of all, you can still work and play with others but your own presence is more concentrated. And your relationships are more healthy again.

If you find the need to do this, I’d love to hear what your results were. Or do it preventively, even better.

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  16 Responses to “Feeling Scattered? Reset Your Focus in 3 Easy Steps”

Comments (10) Trackbacks (6)

    Love the headline. I have to admit, yes, it sounded too easy, but it worked. Great technique. Visualizing like that can be such a powerful tool for reshaping how we feel inside. Thanks for the insights, Patti.


      Hi Katie,
      Ha, I actually liked some of the suggested headlines better, but they didn’t match my content quite as well — which was a good lesson for me in refining, actually. (And I played around with scatter-brained a little while. Thank you!)
      And I’m especially glad to know this little technique worked for you! We’re all different so I appreciate knowing that.
      Thanks for visiting. See you “out there”. 😉



    Just what I needed! I’m extra-sensitive. It really helps to have ideas for reclaiming my space and establishing my boundaries. Thanks a million for this visualization.


      Hi Sandra,
      Oh good, glad it struck some kind of chord.
      We extra-sensitives can use all the tricks we can fit up our sleeves, can’t we?
      Of course, this is just one aspect of how others influence us, but I’m trying to post in bite-size pieces lest I never get up off my butt again.
      Thanks so much for coming by!


    Oh awesome visualization technique! I am a total sucker for these and I could feel myself disconnecting from tendrils I didn’t even realize existed just by reading your post 🙂

    Thanks, Patti. I am going to add this to my ‘tool kit’.


      Hi Eliza,
      You’re welcome, and wow, you felt it just by reading the post. I believe it. Sometimes if I’m writing about a process, I feel it actually happening again as I write. Very cool.
      Thanks for coming by, always so nice to see you.


    I can’t tell you how much I needed this tonight. My mom passed last week (age 90) and I was in Michigan for the last month more than I was home. I was blessed to witness her death and I believe it was her final gift to me. Yet my energy is feeling all scattered as I’m trying to get centered again after coming home. When I find things that really resonate with me I print them and put them in my journal for further practice and thought. This is one I’m taking with me. Thanks!


      Hi Tess,
      Aw, I’m so sorry you lost your mom. Wow, 90 years, that’s something. That is really great you were able to spend so much time with her — what a special time for both of you — and to be there when she actually went, how powerful an experience that must have been. I can only imagine.
      But welcome back.
      And thanks for coming by — it’s so nice to see you and this comment warms my heart. Glad you liked the post.
      And finally, thank you for the tweet. Dude! 😀


    Thanks for this – it describes exactly how I am today! I decided to browse Internet just to see if I could relate to something out there – I found this article right away, not really expecting that – thank you for sharing with us – it helps so much to know that other people struggle, too, and it can be defined and helped. I have been working within myself to be able to live moreso in a “centered” place – so much more positive and enjoyable and fulfilling – please continue to share with us what you learn and discover – it helps so much!

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