Today is one of those days. I went to bed excited about the new week beginning. I tossed and turned thinking (okay, worrying) about what I would post today, trying to decide among several ideas. They tumbled around in my head all night.
But this morning, by the time I was sitting here ready to write, I couldn’t bring myself to write about any of those things. It was the last thing I wanted to do. Not because I didn’t want to write, per se, but because I felt too gloomy to want to do anything, much less write a (God-forbid) cheery or (God-help-me) helpful post.
Why? I have no idea. But we all feel like this from time to time, don’t we?
Just like in the old Larry Sanders Show when Larry’s all bummed out about being rebuffed by a woman, we sometimes want to just put on our dark glasses, lie on the couch, and say “Don’t wanna” to everything.
But we can’t always do that. Sometimes we just have too much to do. Or so we’ve decided. And so we press forward.
We try to be little troopers, but only succeed in making false starts. In the end we decide we were just wasting time, which makes us feel even worse.
I have to admit, it’s not that I even mind feeling how I’m feeling. It’s more that it’s hard to get done what I think I have to do when I’m feeling this way. So I naturally assume if I can somehow get myself to feel better, I can then breeze through my tasks.
And anyway, I tell myself, it feels good to feel good. Right?
On that premise, I visit a few inspiring blogs thinking that surely they will cheer me up. I read a post about laughter, complete with a video that I’m guessing should have got me laughing, but it didn’t. It just bored me.
But then it hit me. A reminder of something I’ve already learned, time and again.
Being In Tune With Cycles
There really is something healing about being in tune with ourselves, including our cycles. We have so many cycles influencing us from “out there” and also those that we ourselves are a part of.
There’s a New Moon tomorrow. That’s one good indication that today is a day to be finishing things instead of expecting a bright fresh energy for new beginnings. And since today is Monday, the Moon’s day, it makes that lunar energy even stronger.
Waning Moon is a good time for completing unfinished business and as I think about that, it occurs to me that I have a lot of little odds and ends that it would be good to finish up. They can suck the life right out of you if just left dangling.
And women, especially, are in tune with and responsive to lunar cycles, as well as our own related hormonal cycles. Don’t even try to tell me (or my husband, for that matter) that these don’t have an impact. Full and New Moons, especially, are influential times of the month.
It’s also gloomy outside. It’s winter here for God’s-sake! There’s a storm moving in and we’re expecting to get almost a foot of snow. It’s a perfect time to nestle in and replenish.
I imagine myself curled up on the couch with a good book, and realize that it’s not that I don’t want to do anything. I am itching to curl up with a chart that I want to look at for a client. That is calling to me. (Soon, chart, I will be there soon…)
As I look at my own chart (jyotish), I also see that right now Saturn is exactly on my Sun. As a Vedic astrologer, that speaks volumes to me, saying it’s not so odd that my light (the Sun) is feeling squashed (by oppressive Saturn) and that I am feeling heavy today for whatever reason. We all have many levels of recurring cycles going on in our lives at any given time.
Jyotish also has something called “dasas” or planetary periods, showing when certain influences will come to the fore in our lives. Right now, I have a strong Moon influence, so I am especially susceptible to this New Moon coming up tomorrow, as are you if you are running a Moon period.
Recognizing Our Sensitivity
There’s also the influence of what is going on in the world at large. I’m often affected by goings-on in the world, especially heavy, difficult events. I think we all are, it’s just that some of us are more sensitive to and aware of how it affects us.
And then there are those I love or am connected to in some strong way, and I often pick up on their moods. (Exactly at this point in typing this, my husband came into my office quite upset. It seems we missed an important filing deadline that we didn’t know about until today related to our finances. This can potentially have a major impact. See?)
But those of us who are empaths, especially, pick up on feelings of those we love from long distances too. My husband and I regularly run the same emotional currents, even when apart. And most of us have several close loved ones we are not in touch with every day, so we never even know that’s why we were in certain inexplicable moods.
Our Own Subtle Selves
And sometimes, it really is “just us” (as if we actually could be separated from all these other influences), and there are feelings percolating to the surface related to our own feelings that we are not consciously aware of at the moment.
These can be regular emotions such as stress, or they can be intuitive feelings about our own well-being, such as a reluctance to do something because perhaps we know at a deep level that it is not what we are “supposed” to be doing.
Let It Be – aka Float
I often think that we have become a bit too removed from ourselves, from nature, and from natural cycles and events. I also think we are doing ourselves a disservice to forge ahead regardless.
So, my conclusion and recommendation is that when days like this roll around — and roll around they will — see if you can just go with the flow. Perhaps there are a few things you absolutely have to do, so you must do them. But other than that, don’t worry about how you feel and you’ll find that it doesn’t actually feel so bad even to feel bad.
For after all, at the very deepest level, there’s simply us. The abiding self that is simply enjoying being. No special moods or activities are necessary; in fact, they are irrelevant. All is well, all the time, no matter what.
And see if you can possibly respond to that call to withdraw a bit and not be in output mode, ever doing, doing, doing. You will find refreshment there, be much more together tomorrow, and be all the happier and healthier today as well. At least that’s how it works for me.
Or maybe I just needed more caffeine this morning.
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